shorty is a dumbass

So, our persevering bum, Shorty, kept telling garfield,"hey,man you gotta chill, i gotta  work this Englebert Humperdinck  concert this weekend, you know parkin cars an shit and then i'll get you the goddamn kitty litter. chill the fuck out before i put a cap in yo ass". This statement left garfield cowering in the corner, all backed up from too much lasagna and nowhere to go! He being a cat with some manners who wouldn't think of pooping and peeing all over the place, unlike a couple of other cats I had met in MY travels. But that's another story.
So, the Englebert Humperdinck concert comes up, Shorty is all decked out in full parking gear; orange vest he stole from a real parking attendant and a couple of sticks he had painted orange to "guide" in the cars.  Just like a jet plane. To their pubic street side parking spaces. Which he has no jurisdiction over whatsoever being a lowly a bum. Anyway, on his walk from the "crib", he spies a bottle of pills on the street, obviously a prescription drug deal gone awry. Being resourceful as well as persevering, he takes the pills and figures after he parks the car, he can offer the Humperdinck fans some "Ex" so  they can dig on the grooves and really get down. He can charge $5 a pill and get Garfield the best kitty litter Evie's(our local gourmet market) has to  offer! Little does Shorty know that the pills in the bottle are really PCP, or "dust", an animal tranquilizer popular about 30 years ago! It was reported to make people berserk and give them superhuman strength!  The Humperdinck fans are really gobbling up what they think is "Ex" , Shorty is beside himself with glee, having made a fortune in one night!
Or so he thinks. Little does he know that midway through the concert, the fans who are hopped up on  what they think is "ex" , they start to  lose their minds! They start tearing apart the theater, throwing security around like rag dolls, tearing up seats, smashing popcorn machines, etc. Shorty, obvious to  this, is standing outside the theater , smoking a blunt he  stole from one of the girls who work at the shwarma joint nearby. Well, he hears what sound like wild animals running down the street , stopping traffic, cars colliding, being overturned by the Humperdinck fans who  accidentally got "dusted". Shorty tries to  run but just having smoked a blunt filled with the "chronic", he merely stumbles and falls flat on his face, right in the middle of woodward avenue!  The mob, high on PCP, which Shorty sold them, tramples him as they run wild, wreaking havoc into the night. There Shorty lay, no pants, bruised and bleeding,  money all gone(the local thieves had cleaned him out when he lay unconscious in the street). He wakes up to  crawl back to the "crib". As he crawls though the door, Garfield asks, "where the hell is my kitty litter you promised to  buy? How am I supposed to  take a crap?" "I don't know, dawg, it was crazy, they was runnin' wild like they was on some kind of shit I ain't never seen before. I got trampled and robbed , yo, ain't nothin I could do!", Shorty exclaimed, tears streaming down his bloodied and humiliated face. "Shorty, you're a dumbass", exclaimed garfield, as he walked to  Shorty's bed and took a dump  right in the middle of  it. The end.